The Spanish Word For Aunt, part II

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The Spanish word for "Aunt"

"This is an unusual song, dedicated to an unusual person, who makes me feel... unusual." (Pump Up the Volume)

I have a secret. It isn't a secret that I can't tell, but a secret that I can't write. In the age of over-sharing, we've become accustomed to facebooking, tweeting, or blogging our lives for friends and/or strangers alike. "If it isn't on Facebook, it didn't happen." If that's the case, then I'm in a situation that isn't happening. Apparently, the anonymity factor is more or less vital to my mental well being, i.e., if the internet knew, I would become a target of envy for some, and derision for others. It sounds more like I'm in borderline witness protection status, than having become rather close to someone with a sizable (and potentially unstable) cult following. There are ironies on top of complications within Russian dolls, but none of it really matters, and there are really only two out of seven billion people that need to know.

Save it- put it in the bank.

No, I haven't posted in millennia, and that's just how it is. I was under the impression that I'd been creatively bankrupt for a while, because things didn't flow the way they used to. The reality of the situation is, "if you don't use it, you lose it." Being preoccupied with other things gave me less time to do what I enjoy, or so I thought. Whoever came up with the Nike campaign of, "JUST DO IT," was a sage, and righteous individual, because things are easier to do when you do them, and harder to do when you don't. I have all the time in the world. We all do. WE are the ones who choose how to spend our time, and what we spend it on. It's all a matter of priority. If spending time with a lover is a priority, one finds time, one finds space (yes, I guess there is still a tiny kernel of bitterness). If creating art is a priority, choose a tool and get to work. If getting a six-pack is a priority, start crunching (or go to the LQ, depending on your definition of six-pack). If making money is a priority, find a job. Any job. Two. Three. In any case, I'm writing now, and maybe it will continue.

...Like now. You don't know it, but I just wrote pages and pages, then deleted it all because I didn't actually know what the hell I was typing about. This blog has a history of streamofconsciousitis and randomia, but that was some drunken acid flashback fuckery...

Back in a bit.

Exit Through the Whoopie Cushion

I recently saw the Banksy film, "Exit Through The Gift Shop." A thought-provoking film, which left me wondering if it were a documentary, satire, or a clever prank. Given that Banksy is involved, I have to think the answer is "D," all of the above. The anti-hero of the film, a weird little Frenchman called Thierry Guerra, is also a subject of speculation. Did he really think that following artists around for 10 years gave him license to become an artist himself? Did he actually create any of the art in his monumentally vainglorious debut show? Does Thierry Guerra (aka Mr Brainwash, or MBW) even exist?

I've done a bit of intersnooping, and have come to the conclusion that, while Thierry Guerra is a real person, and really did film ten years of street artists, "Mr Brainwash" is a prank conceived by Banksy. In this article from 2008, there is a rather long comment from a guy named Juan Rodriguez, who was on site during the installation of MBW's big LA debut. He mentions rarely seeing MBW creating any art, and that very few crew members spent more than one day there during the entire install. However, there was one person there every day, who painted, screen-printed, and tagged constantly. His name was Roman Lefeburte. In Banksy's Wikipedia entry, there is speculation that his real name is Robert, Robden, Robin Gunningham or Robin Banks. Robert/Robden/Robin or Roman? Coincidence? I think not.

How I Started Worrying and Learned to Loathe Oil

Last week, there was a group of protesters at the Arco gas station across the street from my house. The were urging the boycott of BP and it's subsidiaries, Arco being one. Problem is, there's a gas station around the corner, and another directly across the street. The oil spill that is replacing the Gulf of Mexico could have been caused by the parent companies of either of those stations, and surely the same vitriol would be spewed towards any company that was in the same situation. Blaming BP is not the answer- a systematic and fundamental shift in the lifestyles of every person in every Post Industrial country in the world is.

Weaning the planet off of oil will not be easy, or fast, or easily distillable (I made that word up) into 30 second soundbites to insure politicians can keep their jobs. On the other hand, JFK asked congress to put a man on the moon in '61, and 8 years later, Neil Armstrong was setting up Alan Shepard's lunar putt-putt course. Unfortunately, the pragmatism of the 60's has been replaced by 21st century duelism (made that one up, too). In our society, no one can say anything without someone else calling that person an idiot and starting a Facebook page, "One million strong against that one thing that somebody said which I don't actually know anything about but since (insert left or right wing mouthpiece) says it won't work I believe it." So, just like Live Strong bracelets, Obama's presidential campaign, and the concept that people pay attention to Lady Gaga because of her "music," change will have to start from the bottom up. But, how?

As I was considering the futility of protesting a gas station, I thought about my family in middle America. It takes half an hour to walk from their house to anywhere that isn't another house. Living as I do, in an urban city, it's easy to not rely on a car, but for them, it's not possible. Another thing to worry about is the city planning, infrastructure, and business that is based on having a car. Mass transit and bicycles are also not viable options for families, the elderly, and infirm. What we need, is to build a better engine. In about a hundred years, communication has gone from telegraphs to iPhones, but in about the same time, the automobile engine has gone from the combustible engine, to... the combustible engine.

...And We're Back With This Weekend's Box Office

First off, I don't care how long it's been, I don't want to hear it. OK?

I was just reading the estimated box office receipts for this weekend in the NY Times, and was taken aback by the lackadaisical phrase, " In third place was "Date Night (Fox), with only $7.6 million."

Only.

I don't know about anyone else, but I can't imagine putting the word "only" in front of 7.6 million dollars. I get an unemployment check of 7.1 hundred dollars and get a little giddy- 7.6 MILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS IS NOT "ONLY."

Let's go a step further: "Date Night," after four weeks of release, has taken in $73.6 million. Where does that money go? The studio fronts the money to make the movie, so everyone from Tina Fey to the caterers has been paid months ago. So, the studio recoups it's investment, and then builds schools for underprivileged children in Darfur, right? OK, maybe not- but with a movie like "Avatar," which made 2.something BILLION dollars, I want to hear that something is being done with at least a little bit of that money that has nothing to do with any individual or corporate account.

I've had this pipe dream for years, that Hollywood would take a cue from the music industry and make a "We Are the World" style movie. The biggest actors, directors, producers, writers, cinematographers, FX houses, etcetera, would donate their efforts into making an epic film, with all the proceeds going to various charities, causes and relief efforts around the world. I admit to being a bit of a romantic, but how cool would it be to watch a movie that was literally saving the world?

If only a little bit.

Kool Aid in the Cult of Personality

Hugh Grant, Bill Clinton, Eddie Murphy, Britney Spears, Michael Jackson, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Christian Bale, Kobe Bryant, John Edwards, George Michael, Pitt & Jolie, Rihanna, Magic Johnson, Gary Hart, Charlie Sheen, Whitney Houston, Robert Downey Jr, and now Tiger Woods.

The list goes on and on and on. Not everyone on this list has acheicved the same level of scorn and/or righteous indignance of the masses, but this list still will continue in perpetuity, and five minutes later, no one will care. Right now, we're in the middle of a traffic jam, rubbernecking at a celebrity car wreck with Tiger Woods at the wheel. He can hit a little ball with a stick really well- is that any reason to hold him to a higher standard than any of the people I know that sleep around just as much? Since when did fame equal heroism? We no longer live in a culture that provides heroes for the masses to worship, only idols to be ogled. When those idols prove to be no more beatific than everyone else, they are torn down and either repaired or replaced, for no better reason than "yes, we can."