It's good to know there are others out there as warped as me. When I say warped, I mean doing, saying, and thinking things that make perfect sense, are logical, and morally upright- as long as you are in my head. Some people are very adamant about what happens to their bodies when they die. Most of it is some sort of religiosity, except for the few oogily boogilies that want their ashes thrown out with the humpback whales off the coast of Oaxaca, or mixed into the cement that builds the foundation of the new Yankees stadium. That's kinda weird, but not quite warped. If you want to be like me, and be truly warped, you want your ashes made into a diamond.
Yes, there is a company, LifeGems, that will take a person's ashes, and make diamonds out of them. They process the ashes, distilling and purifying the carbon, which leaves graphite. The graphite is then placed in a machine that replicates the conditions 100 miles below the earth's surface, yielding the most warped thing anyone could do with themselves.
Even more warped than that- you don't even have to be dead! They can use a pile of hair. How hardcore would it be to wear bling made from yourself!
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