DIY for Dummies

When I go to a new dentist, I really don't want to hear something like this:

"Sooo, I've been a dentist on and off since high school. I never studied seriously or nothin', but I have a subscription to Dentist's World and Dentist Magazine. I always go over the diagrams in the back and practice as much as I can. I figure, the more you do it, the better you get, right?"

No, but say I get hit by car and I hear this:

"Dude, that looked gnarly! I saw some chick get hit by a car a few years ago, and I stayed with her till the EMTs came. She totally dislocated her shoulder, and they popped it back in right there. I watched how they did it, and now any time I see an accident, I'm like, hey I can put your shoulder back together if you need it, alright?"

Not this time, though on the other hand, I could sue you later, and my lawyer might say this:

"Hey you wanna sue somebody? Sweet. Listen, I don't have a 'law degree,' I think that will kill my ability to really feel the law and make a sound argument flow through me. I did take one law lesson from a guy who had the most lawyeristic talent of anyone I've ever seen. He helped his girlfriend study while she was in Pre Law or whatever, but he was a total natural, and didn't buy into the whole 'institution.' That's probably why they broke up. I don't read any of that Latin stuff either, I don't think that's part of being a real lawyer, right?"

No.

Of course, none of these scenarios could ever happen, because there are laws in place to prevent them, and other situations where people who, much like Donny, are completely out of their element. Unfortunately, there are no such laws in place for music. I have studied it. I can read it, write it, and theorize it. I can tell you the history and I can answer trivia questions (if some people who's names might begin with Ls would shut up and listen). I truly do not understand the dictum where the less you actually know about music, the better a musician you can be. How is it that people who don't have the chops to sing 'Happy Birthday' in tune and in the same key as the people singing next to them, think they can...

Hold on, I need to blow some snob out of my nose. There's nothing wrong with hobbyists/amateurs, and if I said there was, PBS and Time/Life Books would write me a very stern but polite rebuke. I just think that if you are going to take something seriously, you should do it seriously as well. If you do happen to be a 'Donny', don't wait until Walter tells you.